Wednesday, April 26, 2006

Because of You

I will not make the same mistakes that you did,
i will not let myself,
cause my heart so much misery,
i will not break the way you did,
you fell so hard,
i ve learned the hard way
to never let it get that far

because of you
i never strayed too far from the sidewalk
because of you
i learned to play on the safe side so i don t get hurt
because of you
i find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
because of you
i am afraid

i lose my way
and it s not too long before you point it out
i cannot cry
because you know that s weakness in your eyes
i m forced to fake
a smile,a laugh everyday of my life
my heart can t possibly break
when ity wasn t even whole to start with

i watched you die
i heard you cry every night in your sleep
i was so young
you should have known better than to lean on me
you never thought of anyone else
you just saw your pain
and now i cry in the middle of the night
for the same damn thing

because of you
i never strayed too far from the sidewalk
because of you
i learned to play on the safe side so i don t get hurt
because of you
i try my hardest just to forget everything
because of you
i don t know how to let anyone else in
because of you
i m ashamed of my life because it s empty
because of you
i am afraid

because of you
because of you

Friday, April 21, 2006


Kian jauh
Kian hilang
Kasih antara kita

Nampak tenang
Pada zahirnya
Tapi batin terseksa

Yang terguris tak nampak dimata
Yang terhiris terluka
Sesekali terbit air mata
Tahan sebak didada

Ke manakah..nak dibawa
Resah kian melanda

Di manakah
Hendak ku khabar
Pilu di dalam dada

Bila kasih di hujungnya nyawa
Rasa ingin dimanja
Perasaan pun kian tersentuh
Bila rindu ini berlabuh

*Apakah yang dikejar dalam hidupmu
Berkali ku kata padamu
Kita singgah di dunia yang sementara
Penuh tipu daya

Yang kekal
Biarlah..kita bersama

Hanyut terus terlena
Kerana dunia

Pada aku masih ada
Kasih belum terhakis
Sebenarnya..sudah lama
Ku sungguh berkecil hati

Nyanyian: Mawi
Lagu: Fauzi Marzuki

Lirik: Lukhman S
#Salah satu lagu yang Ju suka masa kini.

Picture of me in shower

alalalalala..sila click

The old phone

When I was quite young, my father had one of the
first telephones in our neighborhood. I remember the
polished, old case fastened to the wall. The shiny
receiver hung on the side of the box. I was too
little to reach the telephone, but used to listen
with fascination when my mother talked to it.

Then I discovered that somewhere inside the
wonderful device lived an amazing person. Her name
was "Information Please" and there was nothing she
did not know. Information Please could supply
anyone's number and the correct time.

My personal experience with the genie-in-a-bottle
came one day while my mother was visiting a neighbor.
Amusing myself at the tool bench in the
basement, I whacked my finger with a hammer, the
pain was terrible, but there seemed no point in
crying because there was no one home to give

I walked around the house sucking my throbbing
finger, finally arriving at the stairway. The
telephone! Quickly, I ran for the footstool in the
parlor and dragged it to the landing. Climbing up, I
unhooked the receiver in the parlor and held it to
my ear. "Information, please" I said into the
mouthpiece just above my head. A click or two and a
small clear voice spoke into my ear.


"I hurt my finger..." I wailed into the phone, the
tears came readily enough now that I had an

"Isn't your mother home?" came the question.

"Nobody's home but me," I blubbered.

"Are you bleeding?" the voice asked.

"No," I replied. "I hit my finger with the hammer
and it hurts."

"Can you open the icebox?" she asked.

I said I could.

"Then chip off a little bit of ice and hold it to
your finger," said the voice.

After that, I called "Information Please" for
everything. I asked her for help with my geography,
and she told me where Philadelphia was. She helped
me with my math. She told me my pet chipmunk that I
had caught in the park just the day before, would
eat fruit and nuts.

Then, there was the time Petey, our pet canary,
died. I called, Information Please," and told her
the sad story. She listened, and then said things
grown-ups say to soothe a child. But I was not
consoled. I asked her, "Why is it that birds should
sing so beautifully and bring joy to all families,
only to end up as a heap of feathers on the bottom
of a cage?"

She must have sensed my deep concern, for she said
quietly, "Wayne always remember that there are
other worlds to sing in."

Somehow I felt better.

Another day I was on the telephone, "Information

"Information," said in the now familiar voice.

"How do I spell fix?" I asked.

All this took place in a small town in the Pacific
Northwest. When I was nine years old, we moved
across the country to Boston. I missed my friend
very much. "Information Please" belonged in that old
wooden box back home and I somehow never thought of
trying the shiny new phone that sat on the table in
the hall. As I grew into my teens, the memories of
those childhood conversations never really left me.

Often, in moments of doubt and perplexity I would
recall the serene sense of security I had then. I
appreciated now how patient, understanding, and kind
she was to have spent her time on a little boy.

A few years later, on my way west to college, my
plane put down in Seattle. I had about a half-hour
or so between planes. I spent 15 minutes or so on
the phone with my sister, who lived there now. Then
without thinking what I was doing, I dialed my
hometown operator and said, "Information Please."

Miraculously, I heard the small, clear voice I
knew so well.


I hadn't planned this, but I heard myself saying,

"Could you please tell me how to spell fix?"

There was a long pause. Then came the soft
spoken answer, "I guess your finger must have healed
by now."

I laughed, "So it's really you," I said. "I
wonder if you have any idea how much you meant to me
during that time?"

I wonder," she said, "if you know how much
your call meant to me. I never had any children and
I used to look forward to your calls."

I told her how often I had thought of her over
the years and I asked if I could call her again when
I came back to visit my sister.

"Please do", she said. "Just ask for Sally."

Three months later I was back in Seattle. A
different voice answered, "Information." I asked for Sally.

"Are you a friend?" she said.

"Yes, a very old friend," I answered.

"I'm sorry to have to tell you this," she
said. "Sally had been working part-time the last few
years because she was sick. She died five weeks

Before I could hang up she said, "Wait a minute, did
you say your name was Wayne?" "Yes." I answered.

"Well, Sally left a message for you. She
wrote it down in case you called.

Let me read it to you."

The note said, "Tell him there are other worlds to sing in.

He'll know what I mean."

I thanked her and hung up. I knew what Sally meant.

Never underestimate the impression you may make on others.

Whose life have you touched today?

Why not pass this on? I just did....

Lifting you on eagle's wings. May you find the joy and peace you long for.

Life is a journey ... NOT a guided tour.

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

Seketul Keju dan Sehelai Tuala Kecil

Tazkirah untuk renungan bersama.

Rakaman ini dipetik dari program Motivasi Pagi -TV 3
(6.30 pagi) oleh Ustazah Noorbayah Mahmood.

Seorang gadis datang menemui Rasulullah dengan tangan
kanannya disorokkan ke dalam poket bajunya. Dari raut
wajahnya, anak gadis ini sedang menanggung kesakitan
yang amat sangat. Lalu Rasulullah menegurnya.

"Wahai anakku, kenapa wajahmu menampakkan kamu sedang
kesakitan dan apa yang kamu sorokkan di tanganmu?"

Lalu gadis malang inipun menceritakan hal yang berlaku
padanya :- "Ya,Rasulullah, sesungguhnya aku adalah
anak yatim piatu. Malam tadi aku telah bermimpi dan
mimpiku itu telah membuatkan aku menanggung kesakitan
ini." Balas gadis tadi.

"Jika tidak jadi keberatan, ceritakanlah mimpimu itu
wahai anakku."

Rasulullah mula tertarik dengan penjelasan gadis
tersebut."Aku bermimpi berjumpa ibuku di dalam neraka.

Keadaannya amat menyedihkan. Ibuku meminta diberikan
air kerana dia amat dahaga kerana kepanasan api neraka
itu hingga peluh tidak sempat keluar kerana kekeringan
sekelip mata." Gadis itu berhenti seketika menahan

"Kemudian kulihat ditangan kirinya ada seketul keju
dan ditangan kanannya ada sehelai tuala kecil.Beliau
mengibas-ngibaskan kedua-dua benda tersebut untuk
menghalang api dari membakar tubuhnya. Lantas aku
bertanya ibuku, kenapa dia menerima balasan sebegitu
rupa sedangkan ketika hidupnya ibuku adalah seorang
hamba yang patuh dengan ajaran islam dan isteri yang
taat kepada suaminya?

Lalu ibuku memberitahu bahawa ketika hidupnya dia amat
bakhil. Hanya dua benda itu sahaja iaitu seketul keju
dan sehelai tuala kecil pernah disedekahkan kepada
fakir. Yang lainnya hanya untuk bermuka-muka dan
menunjukkan kelebihan hartanya sahaja.

Lalu aku terus mencari ayahku. Rupanya beliau berada
di syurga dan sedang menjamu penghuni syurga dengan
makanan yang lazat dan minuman dari telaga nabi.

Ayahku memang amat terkenal kerana sikapnya yang
dermawan dan kuat beramal. Lalu aku bertanya kepada
ayahku. "Wahai ayah, ibu sedang kehausan dan menaggung
azab di neraka.Tidakkah ayah ingin membantu ibu
sedangkan di dunia kulihat ibu amat mentaatimu dan
menurut perintah agama.

Lalu dijawab oleh ayahnya. Sesungguhnya beliau dan
semua penghuni syurga telah dilarang oleh Allah dari
memberi walau setitik air kepada isterinya kerana itu
adalah pembalasan untuk kebakhilan yang dilakukan ketika didunia.

Oleh kerana kasihan melihat azab yang diterima oleh
ibuku, aku lantas menceduk sedikit air mengguna tapak
tangan kananku lalu dibawa ke neraka. Belum sempat air
tersebut mencecah bibir ibuku, api neraka telah
menyambar tanganku sehingga melecur.

Seketika itu juga aku tersedar dan mendapati tapak
tanganku melecur teruk. Itulah sebabnya aku datang
berjumpa engkau ya Rasulullah." Panjang lebar gadis
itu bercerita sambil airmatanya tidak henti-henti
mengalir dipipi.

Rasulullah kemudian meletakkan tongkatnya ke tapak
tangan gadis tersebut lalu menadah tangan, berdoa
memohon petunjuk dari Allah. Jika sekiranya mimpi
gadis tersebut adalah benar maka disembuhkanlah agar
menjadi iktibar kepada beliau dan semua umat islam.

Lalu berkat kebesaranNya tangan gadis tersebut sembuh.
Rasulullah lantas berkata, "Wahai anakku, pulanglah.
Banyakkan bersedekah dan berzikir dan pahalanya kau
berikan kepada ibumu.Mudah-mudahan segala dosanya
terampun. INSYALLAH"


Friday, April 14, 2006

Petua untuk murah rezeki dan dijauhkan kesulitan

Abu Yazid Al Busthami, pelopor sufi, pada suatu hari pernah didatangi seorang lelaki yang wajahnya kusam dan keningnya selalu berkerut.Dengan murung lelaki itu mengadu,"Tuan Guru, sepanjang hidup saya, rasanya tak pernah lepas saya beribadah kepada Allah. Orang lain sudah lelap, saya masih bermunajat. Isteri saya belum bangun, saya sudah mengaji. Saya juga bukan pemalas yang enggan mencari rezeki. Tetapi mengapa saya selalu malang dan kehidupan saya penuh kesulitan?"

Sang Guru menjawab sederhana, "Perbaiki penampilanmu dan rubahlah roman mukamu. Kau tahu, Rasulullah SAW adalah penduduk dunia yang miskin namun wajahnya tak pernah keruh dan selalu ceria. Sebab menurut Rasulullah SAW, salah satu tanda penghuni neraka ialah muka masam yang membuat orang curiga kepadanya." Lelaki itu tertunduk. Ia pun berjanji akan memperbaiki penampilannya.

Mulai hari itu, wajahnya senantiasa berseri. Setiap kesedihan diterima dengan sabar, tanpa mengeluh. Alhamdullilah sesudah itu ia tak pernah datang lagi untuk berkeluh kesah. Keserasian selalu dijaga. Sikapnya ramah,wajahnya senantiasa mengulum senyum bersahabat. Roman mukanya berseri.

Tak heran jika Imam Hasan Al Basri berpendapat, awal keberhasilan suatu pekerjaan adalah roman muka yang ramah dan penuh senyum.Bahkan Rasulullah SAW menegaskan, senyum adalah sedekah paling murah tetapi paling besar pahalanya.

Demikian pula seorang suami atau seorang isteri. Alangkah celakanya rumah tangga jika suami isteri selalu berwajah tegang. Begitu juga celakanya persahabatan sekiranya dikalangan mereka saling tidak berteguran. Sebab tak ada persoalan yang diselesaikan dengan mudah melalui kekeruhan dan ketegangan. Dalam hati yang tenang,
pikiran yang dingin dan wajah cerah, Insya Allah, apapun persoalannya nescaya dapat diatasi. Inilah yang dinamakan keluarga sakinah, yang didalamnya penuh dengan cinta dan kasih sayang.

Sekadar berkongsi untuk dijadikan panduan bersama. Sebarkanlah kepada teman-teman yang lain. Semoga kita mendapat keberkatan.

Thursday, April 06, 2006



Hari ni Ju kena marah lagi. Sedih betul pulak petang ni. Terasa kesunyian yang amat. Terasa bodoh ...apasal aku buat silap? tapi biasanya dia tak kisah pun kalau aku submit proposal cam tu. Byk lak soal dia ...

Kalau dia nak benda2 tu semua ..cakap jer la putar belit. Sakitnya hati...

Airmata mengalir lagi...mujur mak tak perasan masa dia telefon mintak belikan Linda spagetti.

Bila dapat tahu Shah tipu Ju selama nipun Ju tak nangis ..tapi bila bab kerja ni ...rasa frust sgt.

Tak ada sesiapa pun nak Ju luah..cuma kat kengkawan siber jer abah. Itupun suami orang ...takut Ju.Tapi apalah yg depa boleh buat selain nasihat bersabar jer. Adik-adik yg lain kat room KA tu pun suruh kita bersabar abah. Sabar memang sabar abah tapi dah menangis ni ada lah lega sikit. Agaknyer sebab selama ni Ju pendam airmata ni ..bila kena marah cam ni ..senang sangat air mata tumpah.


Mak, adik, menantu abah dan cucu-cucu abah yang dah nak masuk 4 org tu semua sihat . Ju jer yg masih cam ni abah. Masih keseorangan.

Ju terfikir nak berhenti kerja abah tapi nak buat apa pulak kalau tak kerja. Saper nak tolong bayar duit rumah..duit kereta??

Nak buat bisnes pun Ju tak berani.Kekadang rasa nak sangat bisness tapi takut ...nanti famili tak sokong ...

Okey abah...Ju nak solat maghrib dulu.

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

Kelmarin telah berlalu...

Cerita duka minggu lepas masih di ingatan. Akukah yang bodoh kerana tidak dapat melihat lebih awal segala penipuan atau dia sengaja memperbodohkan aku. Arghh!!!sakitnya hati...tiada sedih di dalam hati kerana aku telah lama membunuh rasa sayangku terhadapnya . Namun setelah aku belajar menganggapnya sebagai kawan..kenapa dia tidak mahu berterus terang ..mengapa??

Aku masih disini ...berdiri ..berlari ..jatuh namun terus gagah berdiri semula ..walaupun merangkak.

Namun aku takut untuk menerima seorang insan bernama lelaki yang tidak ada kepastian akan dirinya menjadi temanku...

Aku terlalu hodoh ?? mungkin..tapi ada yang lebih hodoh dariku mendapat jodoh...persoalan yang tidak terjawab...


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